Building a Relationship With Your Surrogate: Tips for Intended Parents

Once you find the right gestational carrier (GC) or surrogate, the medical journey of surrogacy begins. You might be excited to be on this journey as your dream of becoming a parent will finally come true. However, you must understand that surrogacy is more than getting your baby; it is a complex process demanding a positive and healthy relationship with your GC. Remember, she is more than just a woman you ‘hired’ to carry your child; she is an equal partner in this journey. Therefore, you must establish a solid relationship with her from the beginning.

Below are the top tips for building a strong relationship with your surrogate!

1. Do not be overbearing: As intended parents, you may feel anxious, nervous, excited and much more. You may also feel helpless when another woman is carrying your child. However, do not let these feelings affect your relationship with the GC. Make sure you do not cross boundaries with her, as you can make them feel ‌you do not trust them and affect your communication with them. Stick to the boundaries mentioned in the surrogacy contract and the communication preferences and frequency.
2. Show interest in her life: A GC sacrifices a lot to help you expand your family. Throughout this process, she gives up their time, energy, and body. Therefore, you must make her feel appreciated for the same and not just a piece of a puzzle. Make efforts to make her feel valued. Talk to her about her lifestyle and family- not just the surrogacy journey. Consider her as a friend during the journey.
3. Give as much as you get in the relationship: As an intended parent, you may feel like you are giving a lot to this journey, especially in terms of money. You may also believe that the gestational carrier is obligated to your wishes and commands because you are paying her. However, you should know that it is the foundation for an unhealthy relationship. It is not the right approach to follow. Instead, every relationship demands equal give and take. For instance, do not make the GC travel back and forth every time (even if you are paying for her travel costs); consider visiting her to avoid any inconvenience.
4. Offer help in all possible ways: While the GC is pregnant, she must take time out to adjust her normal lifestyle and maintain a healthy pregnancy. Therefore, offer her help whenever and however you can. For instance, send her pre-made meals, take her to lunch, take her and her family out, or gift her a self-care hamper. Offer her help to restore her mental health.

About Tammuz Family

The above-mentioned tips will help you establish a healthy relationship with your surrogate. Tammuz Family offers a full range of comprehensive and guaranteed IVF and surrogacy programs in Melbourne, Australia. We are an international surrogacy, fertility, and egg donation company.

Our clients choose us for our one-stop-shop approach and low agency fees, making our programs affordable and accessible. For more information, write to [email protected] or fill out our online contact form.